I was just talking to two of my best friends, both of whom were abroad during winter and spring quarters, and I was thinking about how much I missed them. I was so lonely at school without them even though I lived in a house full of women I adore. Now I'm in the smallest town I've ever lived in, and I don't feel alone at all. I enjoy my job, I like the town, and I love the other interns. I feel completely happy without any of my friends here with me. And I can't decide if it's a matter of expectations or the comfort of knowing my friends are home and close by.
I'm not typically a person who embraces change, but my mom pointed out that I'm happier here than I have been the last few summers at home. I think I've grown up a lot in the last few years. When I went to college, I cried every day for three weeks and begged my parents to let me come home. And now, I'm perfectly happy spending my entire summer in Racine, with the occasional visit to Evanston. The idea of being a senior is a little crazy, but it feels right. I haven't always loved Northwestern, so I would never have believed that it would be true, but college really has prepared me for the world.
And it's not that I'm necessarily super happy here. Dan, Sierra, and Ilija keep me laughing all day and Maya keeps me laughing at night, so I definitely have a lot of joy in my life. More than anything though, I feel fulfilled and independent. I feel completely certain that my life is mine to control, and that it will turn out really well. And that's a really good feeling to have.
So maybe home is what you make of it.
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